Part One: Exploration
*Disclaimer* All Names Have been changed, however the circumstances and stories attached are all very much real.
I feel its time to set you down and tell you the love stories that have shaped my life.
they begin and end with much the same thing. love, loss and a moral.
Dylan:
I Met dylan when I was in year 8. We we’re in the same Classes.
we did aquatics, and I guess it just happened. We were in the bathrooms one day after school and we were talking about sex and stuff and I walked into a cubicle to have a wank and he followed me. I was 14 years old and he was my first kiss.
We used to have passionate exchanges when we finished swimming, a blowjob here, a wristy there. and most of all. the kisses. He had an especially long foreskin, and being part aboriginal, he was darker skinned down there. This all continued and then one day he disappeared. What I Didn’t know was that Dylan was mentally unstable, and had run away from home, his mother beat him regularly and when he was 9 she threw a vacuum cleaner on his head, since then he had capacity but had changed forever. From the time he ran away, I never saw him again.
Mark:
After Dylan ran away I moped around the house a lot, one of my brother’s friends came into my room one day and sat next to me on my bed. He was a bigger guy and I just said Hi. He Leaned in and kissed me. it was the first exchange in a passionate affair that lasted the better part of 7 months, once or twice a week he would come over and we would have sex. It was mindless and at times lacked passion, but it was something to cling to. Once we were in the middle of doing things and i heard someone come up the hallway. I rushed him into hiding in my wardrobe, and I waited for the knock at my door. After I got rid of our unwelcome visitor, i opened the door and made love to him like it would be the last time we would ever touch. My Marching orders came a month later, my folks were selling up and moving home to sydney. I went and saw Mark one last time, we swam in his pool and then went into his bed. naked and damp I relished the sex I had with him.
The next three years are all a haze of broken promises and clandestine meets.
I remained functionally single and sexless for the time. although I had no real romance or someone to call my own for that time. I still held hope. I may have laid in waiting, wanting, but I was there.
Michael: Michael was an older man and for a period in my young life introduced me to the potential I could be, and that I could laugh without repercussions. The sex was more of a mutual admiration. and I am forever thankful he influenced me when he did.
The Rapist: I met the rapist on manhunt and I asked him over one night, he was biggish but not ugly. I remember he made out with me quickly then sat me on my back and started fucking me rough. It hurt the way he fucked me, solely interested in roughing it. I asked him to stop numerous times. but then he spanked me and said who’s a bad boy? after he forced me onto my knees he came on my back and whispered in my ear; who’s my little cum whore? he put his pants and shirt on and left. I went to the shower and scrubbed with a scrubbing brush and anti bacterial soap. somehow I still felt dirty, I didn’t feel clean again for some time. To this day. Whispering in my ear makes my skin crawl.
Boi_26: I met him on manhunt as well. We met up several times and always he would blow me and then eat me out. he was a caring lover and for the most part
made me feel I was Worth something, that I wasnt a dirty whore.
William: I started to go to a glbt Youth group when I was 18 and met a few more friends. One person I met was William, he had short copper hair and was lovely. we were matched well and he made me smile so so much, to begin with he was with a guy named Patrick, and one night William confided that he felt like he was beginning to fall for me.
I made sure in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t a home wrecker, and that he would have to break up with him to have a relationship with me. William Did and for a brief period in my life I was happy. We had regular Sex and he was an average Lay. My love for him made me do what I did, and although my co workers and several close friends told me I could do better I just kept going. One day down the track, he Fell out of love with me and broke up with me. I admit in my mind I glamorized our relationship somewhat. I always felt like I was doing the right thing.
after would I was angry for a long time. that I allowed myself to be made a fool of. that I let my heart rule my life for once.
after a period of dry dock living’
luke: I met a beautiful guy in manhunt named Luke, He was Fucking beautiful, He had waist length black hair, he had lots of piercings, and for the first time in my life, he treated me as a person, not as a whore, we took MDVP and by far it was the most intense sex of my life, it lasted nearly 6 hours, as i sucked him, he sucked me, and so forth. I fell into his arms, and we slept together. In the morning, we made love again, and i showered before kissing him goodbye. He was the most erotic lover ive ever been with and up untill then, the best lay I’d ever had.
after luke there was no one for some time, sexually speaking, I had a boyfriend, and we just didn’t work out.
Until, One night in November, a guy I Went to school with, Jake, Sent me an email.
Jake, Was very strange in high school, but very sweet to me, the only person who danced with me when we did ballroom, he wanted to meet up with me for some fun, and so i said yes. part of it was pity, part of it was longing. we arranged to meet at a park in midnight, under the full moon, as a wiccan, i take that as a sign of vindication of what i was about to do.
I Met him at midnight and he kissed me, longingly and soft, i held him like he was my sweetheart and his tongue laid on mine. Then i slowly and tenderly undressed him as we made love on the soft grass. We pulsed and pushed and i gave him head. I came first and after we laid naked holding each other in the moonlight.
it was only a one night stand. but lord. what a stand.